To Fade Into Smoke

What is a Child of Clay? What is it meant to me molded? What is my essence if I no longer try to be included?
I am terrified of loosing you. I want nothing more than to remove myself from you. I am doing my best with you.
Pictures, pictures, pictures being taken all around. I believe I have claimed the essence of vampire and mirror. Too bad there is no smoke for me to fade with.
I am only here because I came with you. They do not ever ask to include if I am not depending on one of theirs for a ride. You’re the only one of theirs that pays any sort of attention to me.
If I wanted to forfeit money, I would be around a campfire with other friends, friends that see me. I act not to be included. I am peculiar even unto myself.
Once or twice I am asked why I am so silent. Once they see a plastered smile and hear the word “fine” they scurry back into their comfort zone. What is my essence if I no longer try to be included?
Pardon me while I fade a moment. Pardon me while I breathe. Pardon me while I reset my smile.
Coming back to the world I see in reaction to me I have not missed a beat. Back in time for a single conversation of short, and food. It my fault I am so aloof and take my essence with me.
Nothing different but the chill in me from outside. Nothing different than my reestablished smile. Nothing different with this ever drying out Child of Clay, stiff and brittle.